Love is fickle.

I am not a sceptic of love. I truly believe that there is that someone out there for each and every single person. I also believe that you can love someone who may not be that soulmate. Sometimes you may never find that soulmate. How do you know if you have? But even so you can love someone with everything you have and fully believe there is no one else in the world for you, so you commit and get married.

Well that is where i become a sceptic. Now do not get me wrong i want the big wedding. I already have my dress sketched out, i know the exact ring, i know my bridesmaids. I even know what i want to call my children. But what is marriage? You see these celebrities who get married 5 times over. You cannot love 5 people enough to want to marry them. And i just saw on the news that there have been a large number of sham marriages taking place. Which no doubt poses questions about every one you know who is married. Will they last? Why did they get married? Do they know whether they are the one?

If i followed the experience of my close family alone i would not touch marriage with a barge pole. Yet i cannot help but think i may have found that someone who adores me outside of the honeymoon period. How far into a relationship is a honeymoon period? 

Now you probably wonder why i am writing about these things at the tender age of 21. I am writing about this because i cannot help but wonder if when people get married and then decide thats enough was it all nothing. It is like finding out Santa does not exist all the memories associated with it are just lies. Do they contemplate the people involved outside of themselves. Divorce is a devastating thing. It does not matter at what age it hits your family, it hurts. There is nothing you can say to console the children as they start to question their whole entire life. Yet the reality is it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Life is tough and i only think you can grow from these knock backs. Happiness is too thin on the ground nowadays people are looking out for themselves. Sad fact of life. 

We should not give up on love when we hear of divorce but in fact see it as a new lease of life. Love is real and if you remember who you are and change for nobody you will always be happy. I remember when i was young i was with my boyfriend for around 4 years and we would always break up. I used to think my world was over, i would not come out of my room. Now i do not even speak to the guy, when i see him he makes me cringe. Life really does move on. 

I always count more on my friends than anyone else. I have the best friends. If i ever need them they are there and they listen. Often about things they do not want to hear. I really hope i am a good friend to them as they are to me.

I have friends back home. You know they are good for when you go back and to go out with. I would not trust them with anything though. Not because they have betrayed me as such. Just because they didnt try. I always try to stay in touch with people, yet life is not a one way road. Relationships do not work with one giving all. That is why my university friends who i barely see are amazing. BBM saved my relationship as did skype.

I will never divorce my best friends. No matter what country they live in. 

Friendship counts for so much more than Love.

Love is fickle.

Lesson learnt.