It really has been a while and it is not as if i have been short of things to say. I just have not had the time to finish a blog. So i am left with many half written blogs which upon reading back i hang my head in shame. I really have put myself through some rollercoasters.
The reason i am writing now.. Most would call it procrastination. I call it a release. It is four days until i sit my Army Main Board.( For those that are not aware my ambition is to be an Army Officer.) This is also the reason why i have not written in almost three and a half months. My mind has just been so focused on preparing on this week that i have shaped my life around it. My life is now about eating right, going to the gym, planning everything around what ifs... What if i get in the Army? What if i fail? What if i have to redo it in six months? What if i get injured?
A lot of things to think about. So as you can imagine i have caused myself to end up in what seems a tangled mess. Its not enough to have pure ambition and passion to do a career. I need to be an individual that has the potential to be a great officer. I know i am that person.. BUT... I know my nerves can get the better of me. So much so the thought gives me butterflies.
So why am i tangled you ask? Well in between re-learning GCSE Maths, practising countless Aptitude Tests, reading Newspapers, watching the news, learning how to complete Planning Exercises, learning about the British Army and the military, getting super fit and staying injury free. I also have to relearn to write essays, have some level of general knowledge, pack, stay illness and injury free, work a crappy job, actually two crappy jobs, clean the house, do washing and grocery shop AND worry about money.
I think im exaggerating and then i remember that this is the life i chose. I CHOSE to do this, because i want the best out of my life. If you want to achieve you have to sacrifice, you have to work, you have to be committed. Luckily i am a committed person. Oooh there you go, when asked what my strengths are; well commitment!
So what happens if i fail.
Well avoid me for a good week.
And perhaps six months, because thats how long it will take to get me back to AOSB standard and into Sandhurst.
But hey i am a Lester Twin.. i do not know the meaning of FAILING.
