Off to Sandhurst

Well yes ladies and gentlemen i did it. I passed AOSB Main Board..

I would love to share my trials and tribulations of Board but truth be told the week was a whirlwind nightmare. Trying to explain it would be nothing more than spilling the beans on what i believe to be the most gruelling process anyone will encounter. Obviously i say gruelling but this is all to get to Sandhurst which i can only imagine makes AOSB look like heaven.

So a month on.. has it sunk in?

Honestly no.

Will it sink in?

Honestly, the fact i am still not working out and i go in May 6th 2012 really does worry me. I am not at all at the fitness standard i need to be at. Yet still not worried about getting my sorry arse off the couch and moving. I am just not motivated. My life feels so stressed.

My future is all laid out, so why i am stressing is probably beyond anyone.

The fact is my future is laid out. I have chosen to give away my life and with that everything i know and love now. My clothes, make up, tan and boyfriend.

Its been a while..

It really has been a while and it is not as if i have been short of things to say. I just have not had the time to finish a blog. So i am left with many half written blogs which upon reading back i hang my head in shame. I really have put myself through some rollercoasters.

The reason i am writing now.. Most would call it procrastination. I call it a release. It is four days until i sit my Army Main Board.( For those that are not aware my ambition is to be an Army Officer.) This is also the reason why i have not written in almost three and a half months. My mind has just been so focused on preparing on this week that i have shaped my life around it. My life is now about eating right, going to the gym, planning everything around what ifs... What if i get in the Army? What if i fail? What if i have to redo it in six months? What if i get injured?

A lot of things to think about. So as you can imagine i have caused myself to end up in what seems a tangled mess. Its not enough to have pure ambition and passion to do a career. I need to be an individual that has the potential to be a great officer. I know i am that person.. BUT... I know my nerves can get the better of me. So much so the thought gives me butterflies.

So why am i tangled you ask? Well in between re-learning GCSE Maths, practising countless Aptitude Tests, reading Newspapers, watching the news, learning how to complete Planning Exercises, learning about the British Army and the military, getting super fit and staying injury free. I also have to relearn to write essays, have some level of general knowledge, pack, stay illness and injury free, work a crappy job, actually two crappy jobs, clean the house, do washing and grocery shop AND worry about money.

I think im exaggerating and then i remember that this is the life i chose. I CHOSE to do this, because i want the best out of my life. If you want to achieve you have to sacrifice, you have to work, you have to be committed. Luckily i am a committed person. Oooh there you go, when asked what my strengths are; well commitment!

So what happens if i fail.

Well avoid me for a good week.

And perhaps six months, because thats how long it will take to get me back to AOSB standard and into Sandhurst.

But hey i am a Lester Twin.. i do not know the meaning of FAILING.

Final Memento to Sport at Essex...

Good evening Ladies and Gentleman.

I am delighted that tonight we are celebrating university sport and the successes of the 2010/11 season. Every one of you is integral to the budding successes of the Essex Blades and I’ve been lucky enough to witness the hard work, dedication, commitment, pride and the sense of unity amongst the Sports federation Clubs.

I’ve enjoyed every minute of the rollercoaster and I feel privileged to have been elected for such a prestigious role. From the very beginning, i wanted to make sure that as the first female VP in ten years i made my presence known throughout the Sports Federation. It became evident when i came into the role that the value of the student experience had become significantly more important than ever before in an ever exhausted economic climate. Whether you see yourself as a leader, or simply a part of the team, you ARE Essex Blades and your involvement will have helped set your future.

My first thank you of the night has to go to the club Presidents and captains. I’m sure many of you are here celebrating tonight and I for one did not want your achievements to go unrecognised. The majority of you have lead your teams to fixtures and championships and represented Essex and i know how hard it is to get students out of bed. All your members have been lucky to have such passionate leaders and I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you all.

This year in particular we’ve seen the relationship with the university blossom and they firmly recognise the prestigious nature of higher education sport, recognising the true camaraderie of sportsmen and women and the sense of gratification behind sporting the Essex Blades logo. Progressing from this, in the next few years, we will hopefully see investment in new facilities to match the impressive performances from our athletes. Which is something i am really glad to leave Essex with.

Other achievements throughout my year as VP are:

*Although we saw lower membership numbers than last year the figures are not as low as expected with the introduction passport to sport. There were also 5 £1000 club grants given out to clubs within the Sports Federation. Which has really helped clubs to develop further.

• Firstly, the successful season in BUCS, i never really appreciated the effort that went into BUCS week in and week out. It really is hard work. However i had a some good captains and a lot of help from Mel and Louise and the results speak for themselves.

• Secondly, making sure the Exec actually do some work. Usually the Sports fed Exec are seen as positions where you get a free hoody and free fed for a year and that pretty much sums up the roles. When the Sports Fed exec got elected it was overwhelmingly male, which of course was not a problem. However it was full of big personalities who all liked the sound of their own voices and talking about their various social events rather than what i had on the agenda. However, they have been rocks this year and they have always been there when i needed support or just generally individuals to help out. Surprisingly they did what they was told, and despite our ups and down, i can honestly say they are a great bunch of guys and i wouldn’t have changed any of them. Well maybe Jack.

So i would like to thank Vince, Dan, Torodd, James, Toby, Mike, Chris, Cosmin and Cheryl and Jack.

• I cannot forget to mention the best weekend of my time at University which was Alumni Weekend. We had a very successful alumni seeing students and Alumni draw, a Big British Fete and some rather unforgettable nights out.

• And lastly, Derby Day. Not quite the achievement i wanted so i shall not say too much and let the Video do the talking. However i will just say that no matter what the score was i am Essex Till i Die!

Essex Blades are really incredible and both the students and staff members who hold the foundations of the Sport at Essex are remarkable people and I feel honoured to have worked with both the students and staff. I can honestly say that my relationships with both staff and students has led me to be successful this year and I certainly could not have done it alone, So without further or do I’d like to move on to my thank you’s. 

It seems only right to thank Santander and the Vice Chancellor for their generous prize money donations this evening. Clubs that received the money this time last year have utilised the money greatly and i am sure it will benefit the clubs again this year.

Firstly it has to be Tarquin and Keith. Mainly because of their competitions within the office to constantly try to out do one another. It always keeps the office a fun place to be at times when i really didn’t feel like i could take much more. Not only that they have both been there when i need to rant. Tarquin mainly has been the brunt of such rants, and his replies are always the same ITA! Keith has taught me that being stubborn does work and help you become successful and i have taught him with the help of the frontrunners to be a BUCS Pro. So Thornton you have a lot to learn from them both.

I’d also like to thank marketing for all their work on all my various ideas such as the fortune teller, which was a Success. As well as Derby Day and the Freshers Handbook and this department certainly needs more recognition. 

It only remains for me to say thank you to the Exec this year and the members of the Union and University staff. The one person, who will get no award tonight, but whom we all rely on so much is Dom King. His jokes are awful and i certainly wont miss them. However i have a lot to thank Dom for. He is always there to answer my queries and always offers a different view on circumstances. He is extremely passionate about developing Sport at Essex and holds a breadth of knowledge. Although i hope this year i have taught him to say NO a bit more often. And taught him to clean his office and be more organised. I hope that he continues to help push the Blades further up the BUCS table and that the SPACE program is a success. Thank to Dom I am now a race walking pro and i wish him all the best in his endeavour to reach the Olympics. Maybe i will be there to see you win? It is free after all!! Dom really doesn’t get the recognition he deserves and i hope you will all join me in thanking him tonight.

I will certainly be leaving this year on a high and the fundamental highlight of my year is tonight seeing clubs and sportsmen and women being recognised tonight for their great successes over the year and for some their whole University life. I am so proud of my clubs and societies and I’m really going to miss liaising with them on a daily basis. 

I’d like to wish James Thornton the best of luck next year. You are one of my best friends and you truly deserve this position. Enthusiasm and hard work are essential and as long as you have that drive behind you and keep students at the root of every decision you make I’m sure you will do us proud.  Thornton I’d like to see you give everything to your VPS role and really appreciate the nature of the opportunity you have been given. I hope you continue to grow on the great foundations that have put in place for you by myself and Phil. I have no doubt you will bring a new element to our role, good luck!

Thank you for electing me and thank you for this life-changing experience. A year which I’m sure I will never forget.

Tonight brings the 20010/2011 season to a close and I hope, should you be returning in October or leaving for pastures new, that every time you reminisce about memories and experiences with your clubs at the University of Essex, that you’re filled with a certain sense of pride. It’s a brilliant University and by heck you’ve done us proud.

Enjoy tonight’s Festivities please try to remember some of it. And i love Vodka and orange if anyone is interested.

The need for a tan

I would definitely say i am one of the girls known for loving the tanned look. It has always been that way. Living in Essex did not change this fact. You look better when you are tanned, you feel better and photos improve. What is there not to love about being a tanned goddess?

Well the marks on clothes. Drinks being spilled down you. The rain. When you are drunk these things quickly escape your mind. The reality is a real tan is much better. However, the only way you can get a nice sun tan worthy enough to compare to the glow a Tanning Mousse gives you is through continuous Sunbathing, a holiday to an exotic country OR dare i say it Sunbeds.

Now i am not going to damn sunbeds from the start as i truly believe for those with eczema they are effective. However they are damaging to the skin and i really wouldnt promote them. This decision is only a recent one. I was a complete tanning addict a year ago. It would be a every other day trip to the tanning shop to get my fix. It was heaven. There was someone who i always wanted to be darker than. The smell of your sun bed tinged skin smelt amazing and well earnt. Yet all it produces is cancer and wrinkles. So this year i have quit.

Will it make a big difference to my life? Probably not. As soon as i see the sun i sit in it. I crave for just some sunshine to make my skin a little bit darker. So much so that i write this burnt red raw. I am so burnt even my hands are burnt. I am like my very own hot water bottle. Some would say i have fair skin, which is true in the winter and start of spring. However once i start developing a tan my skin tone becomes apparent. My twin and I are fortunate that we do tan well. We go a lovely Fake Tan Orange colour. And it is all natural. Most of the time it takes international climates to get us to that stage, however with there being 72F weather in the UK in APRIL. I am sure we will be well on our way come June.

That is why i love holidays. I want the tan. I do not go on holidays to go sightseeing. I go on holiday to lay from 9-4pm sunbathing, dipping in and out of the sea/pool and then sunbathing some more. I go in at 4pm take a nap and then go for dinner and wander around in the evenings cooler temperatures. That is just how i love my holidays. That is also the recipe for a great tan. I usually start on a factor 10 or 15 and 4 days in i swap to an oil really to darken up my skin. I am so careful that i do not burn as i do not want to waste any precious time in the shade because my skin cannot take it.

Choosing the right holiday destination is essential. Spain is a NO NO as the weather is temperamental i have been too many times when it has rained and/or been very cloudy. I came away for a week of sun not half a week. Nearer Africa the better in my opinion it is always hot. Although for this air con is a must.

Having a tan really does make you into a Goddess. It gives you a new found confidence. You feel slimmer and shiny. I do not see the attraction in being pale. Not one bit, although it does suit some people. I will not lie. I am just not one of those people.

I need a tan!

Day 2 of the CAT 1

So my room mate decided to get up at 5:45am. Turn the light on and make as much noise as possible.

So i relentlessly got up. Hating on her. Hating on my body... My throat was sore I couldnt stop coughing and iw as dehydrated. All i had to look forward to was the showers. They were amazing. They were the showers that ripped your skin off. Felt like i was getting a massage whilst becoming very clean.

I had to strip my bed and remake it with fresh sheets ready for the Main Board Candidates. It really is clever, saves on housekeeping staff. Then had to return the sheets and my number. And get dressed into an overrall and put on my heels for breakfast. Biggest Fashion Faux Pas EVER!!!

1. Breakfast.

It was a full fry up. Or. Cereal. like the women told every girl (all 5 of us) she didnt bother telling the guys. I felt sick with nerves. I needed to nail my fitness to make up for a very poor performance yesterday.

So Egg, Beans, Bananas and orange juice.

2. Plan Exercise Presentation

It was time for us as a group to present our chosen plan to the Colonel. I made sure my hand was always up first and i answered everything as to the point as i could. I wanted to shine and show that although i mucked up on my individual one i was fully understanding of the task.

I think it came across well.

I was asked to present the factors, and the Colonel gave some great guidance which really helped.

3. Group Planning Task

Basically to get over obstacles with a burden in an allotted time. Or perhaps without a burden. We had a lot of talkers but not many do'ers in our group. Had we not bickered we may have actually finished one of them but it was good to see and learn the vital lessons. That planning ahead is essential.


4. Bleep Test

Well not making excuses. This was not my day! I had the worst chest pain. I was dehydrated and to be frank running in overralls was not easy. I struggled. received one warning and was scared i wouldnt finish. Mentally pushed myself to the end but i was dissappointed.

5. Ropes

All i am going to say is.. Thank goodness this was not assessed.

It is high on my list of things to work on.

6. Press Ups and Sit ups

Practice every day! huge improvement from last time. KEEP GOING!
Luckily again they were not assessed but i know they needed work. And now i have the right technique its all GO!

7. The Assault Course

' If you get under 30 seconds i will be impressed'

- Two hurdles
- Long Jump (must hit a target)
- Climb Bar steps carrying a burden - Must replace Burden (which i forgot to do - wasted time)
- Jump a 5ft Wall
- Jump onto a raised platform. Jump onto a rope, swing over the line LET GO. (well first attempt i fell back first into the rope - wasted time)

TIME: 47 Sec.

I was happy with it. I made some stupid mistakes but i know i can do it better!


Then came the Finale:

After a terrifying speech where the Vice President basically put the fear into you and the Colonel said he saw some appalling Plan Ex's. I was first up.

Some reason i wasnt shaking.I was scared.. too scared. If i didnt pass i knew this would be it. If you cant get a Cat 1 at briefing what is the point...

So i am in the room with the Colonel. He says ' I will put you out of your misery, you are a Cat 1' Then he smiles. The strange thing was the smile meant more to me than the result. The fact that i knew that that smile was genuine was important to me. more important to me than the fact that i had just passed despite thinking my worst nightmare had come true. That going on the earlier briefing was really just a month too early!!

BRING ON THE BOARD!!!

Day 1 of the CAT 1

Whoever said joining the Army was easy lied.

Now i know i am a strong minded and confident individual but what the AOSB Briefing just put me through was the biggest emotional rollercoaster i have ever been on.

Since i have started this process i have never questioned whether i was able or good enough to be in the army. Because i was made for the army. It is in my genes. I cannot go and work in an office and make tea for people. Thats not what i want. Or need. I need progression, I need the active lifestyle. The desire to always achieve. The responsibility. I need a job that i can be passionate about. I am a born leader and i am meant to join the British Army.

So i thought...

I arrived in Westbury Sunday evening in good time to get a good nights sleep before AOSB Briefing. However, my body two days before had decided to give up on me. So i was run down with a cold. I could not stop coughing, i could not swallow and my head was pounding. I needed the sleep.

Monday morning i wake up in a room with a girl who was also attending Briefing. I didnt really have much in common with her. She was a Genetics Major and i did politics. I dont do science. I dont talk science and i certainly dont do Morrisons. We had nothing in common. However it was nice to speak to her and know that i was somewhat more prepared than she was and i have had only known i was attending three days beforehand. She had a whole three months on me.

My mind was certainly eased to a degree however my stomach was not. Nevertheless we got the taxi into the barracks, went to our accommodation and then when to the 'Ante Room' where the rest of the 50 odd candidates were waiting. I scouted the room to see how many girls were there, there were only 5. I dont know why but this unsettled me. Mainly because i really didnt want to be in a group with one of them. It is a lot easier to boss around a group of males than a female. Especially one who has been an Officer Training Cadet or an OTC with the hand movements and everything, like the girl i ended up in a group with oh and a room with.

I had now become Brown 43. I had no name. I was just a number. In a brown team of 7.

They were a great bunch of individuals and all had HUGE personalities. This worried me. I was always a confident individual and i find it very easy to command conversations. Yet when everyone has those qualities it can be quite hard to be seen. So let me walk you through the Key points of AOSB Briefing.

The rules:
- Toilet only when told (which for some reason was never when i needed to go)
- Always be on time
- Always be in number order
- No hands in pockets or arms crossed
- No talking unless asked
- Nothing less than determination
- Always listen
- Work as a team
- NEVER answer back!!
- Always address as Sir/Maam/Staff
- Strip and make your bed
- No trainers in the Mess

1. Introduction
This involved a two minute conversation about the best thing i could talk about. ME!!

I sailed through this. After the past two weeks and the three awards and two AGMs i have spoken at public speaking was not something that bothered me.

2. Group Discussions

The topics given were:
What are the incentives of the West staying in the Middle East
Does the concept 'Big Society' actually work
Should Euthanasia be legalised
Should Israel give Syria their land back?
Does AV Work?

Must say that anyone who read the news in the last week would have aced these. However, the group did not work well at letting people speak. I can probably hold my hand up and say i spoke more than i should but to be honest i was the only one with a bloody clue. Some of the remarks that were said surprised me. How do people expect to do well if they have no basic knowledge of our government.

As a politics student i was happy with myself.

3. MAP Test

This included Verbal Reasoning, Numerical Reasoning and Abstract Reasoning.

It didnt help that when i got in there and was told by the Staff Sergeant not to touch the Mouse and i knocked it and was screamed at! To which i had to just accept what i done and reply courteously ' Yes Staff' 'Sorry Staff'. Not a proud moment.

However luckily other idiots did it too. Mine was genuinely a mistake. But mistakes dont happen in the army and you must accept them so i did.

Back to the MAP Test. It was rubbish. In fact it couldnt have gone worse. My worst section verbal reasoning i somehow finished. Although i held no hope for my mark. I didnt even get half way through numerical reasoning which was my strength. And Abstract reasoning well... what the hell is that all about. It all looked the same to me.


4. Planning Exercise

Basically this is a scenario where you have to get from A to B but you have aims to complete. Then there is an obstacle of some form. You have to basically analyse every little detail, write it down. Write courses of actions and make a plan whilst assessing factors. Sounds simple.

NO IT IS NOT!! Oh my it was tough, We had 40 minutes to do the exercise and i can tell you it went by so quick.

Then all of a sudden we are handing it in and he is telling us it is being marked. :(

Then as a group we have to work out the best plan. And all of our faces drop we all made vital mistakes, missed out key pieces of text. One of us even renamed a character. NIGHTMARE. What i would do if i could re do that!!

Then 5. THE INTERVIEW

- Why do you want to join the army?
- Why do you think you will be a good leader?
- Why have you never been an Army Cadet?
- Tell me about your real dad?
- Tell me about your relationship with your sisters?
- How fit are you?
- What would you have to do when you get out of Sandhurst?
- How is it going?
- What would you do if you failed? 'Try again' No failed completely Zoe you only get two chances...
- You can leave.

All with a straight face, no sign of personality, no sign of hope, NOTHING. What am i supposed to take from that.

I wanted to cry...

Life in the fast lane!

I am currently wondering how i have found myself on this, writing a blog when my life couldnt be any more hectic.

It is probably safe to say i am pretty stressed right now.

I have three awards in two weeks. Tonight i am the compare all evening alongside my co-sabb. Who just so happens to be running in local elections and be spreading his time thinner than i currently am. So i have had to write both of our speeches out. LONG.

Then i have the Golden Guilds next Wednesday. Where i have to do a speech and then present awards.

Then finally the i have the Grand Finale the Sports Awards next Friday. Friday the 13th in fact. I dont even know where to begin with this event. My dress finally arrived today and fits! Which i thought would be some weight off of my mind but it really wasnt. I have not even thought about my speech yet. Which i will have to give to some of the most influential individuals in the University as well as all my peers.

I have to do the table plan.I have had to write the booklets. I have had to ensure transport. I have to make sure everyone has a ticket by Monday 9th. Controlling students is annoying. They just do not understand the importance. I cannot drink on the evening because it is my event.

Basically i am stressed. I needed to rant! This blog is for ranting!

Oh and did i tell you all that i still have not found a job for July. I have not even started to think about preparing for my army interview which is in just over a month. And i also am never going to get a holiday!

Blah

Love is fickle.

I am not a sceptic of love. I truly believe that there is that someone out there for each and every single person. I also believe that you can love someone who may not be that soulmate. Sometimes you may never find that soulmate. How do you know if you have? But even so you can love someone with everything you have and fully believe there is no one else in the world for you, so you commit and get married.

Well that is where i become a sceptic. Now do not get me wrong i want the big wedding. I already have my dress sketched out, i know the exact ring, i know my bridesmaids. I even know what i want to call my children. But what is marriage? You see these celebrities who get married 5 times over. You cannot love 5 people enough to want to marry them. And i just saw on the news that there have been a large number of sham marriages taking place. Which no doubt poses questions about every one you know who is married. Will they last? Why did they get married? Do they know whether they are the one?

If i followed the experience of my close family alone i would not touch marriage with a barge pole. Yet i cannot help but think i may have found that someone who adores me outside of the honeymoon period. How far into a relationship is a honeymoon period? 

Now you probably wonder why i am writing about these things at the tender age of 21. I am writing about this because i cannot help but wonder if when people get married and then decide thats enough was it all nothing. It is like finding out Santa does not exist all the memories associated with it are just lies. Do they contemplate the people involved outside of themselves. Divorce is a devastating thing. It does not matter at what age it hits your family, it hurts. There is nothing you can say to console the children as they start to question their whole entire life. Yet the reality is it really is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Life is tough and i only think you can grow from these knock backs. Happiness is too thin on the ground nowadays people are looking out for themselves. Sad fact of life. 

We should not give up on love when we hear of divorce but in fact see it as a new lease of life. Love is real and if you remember who you are and change for nobody you will always be happy. I remember when i was young i was with my boyfriend for around 4 years and we would always break up. I used to think my world was over, i would not come out of my room. Now i do not even speak to the guy, when i see him he makes me cringe. Life really does move on. 

I always count more on my friends than anyone else. I have the best friends. If i ever need them they are there and they listen. Often about things they do not want to hear. I really hope i am a good friend to them as they are to me.

I have friends back home. You know they are good for when you go back and to go out with. I would not trust them with anything though. Not because they have betrayed me as such. Just because they didnt try. I always try to stay in touch with people, yet life is not a one way road. Relationships do not work with one giving all. That is why my university friends who i barely see are amazing. BBM saved my relationship as did skype.

I will never divorce my best friends. No matter what country they live in. 

Friendship counts for so much more than Love.

Love is fickle.

Lesson learnt.

Don't get thin, just get Trim!

Currently right this minute i should be tidying my room. But like everyone else i like to procrastinate, luckily for me i now have a blog to procrastinate with. Usually i would eat out of boredom, so because i cannot eat as i am on a diet i thought i would write about eating.

Now i am not fat, obese, spotty or unhealthy therefore most would question why i am on a diet. Nor am i trying to be a skinny celeb. I just want a bikini body. Is that too much to ask?

I want to have a nice stomach that does not have fat dimples on it and a smaller waist that accentuates what little boob i do have. I want to be toned NOT skinny. Trim is the best word.

Now i am an avid gym goer. I love my sport, i love to run. So you would think i would be pretty trim. That would not be lie. I have what i think are great legs, i have some arms with recent muscle definition and i don't have back fat. Some would say i was blessed. However, with clothes off i have a whale belly. My problem is not that i do not like to exercise it is because i think because i can go to the gym i can eat what i like. Well there lies my problem so my boyfriend repeatedly tells me.

So i am on a diet. No Carbs. No Fat. Basically i am eating meat and rabbit food. See below tonights meal:

The problem is your food actually does dictate the way your body looks. If you eat too many sweets and chocolates you will get spots. If you eat lots of carrots your skin goes more orange (apparently). If you eat nothing you become nothing.

The problem is my body has become a huge contradiction. I am trying to lose flab off the stomach and become toned. But i am trying to become strong enough to do Press Ups, Sit ups, Chin ups and assault courses which is bulking me out. Whilst i am talking about getting strong i would like to mention that i can outbench two of my fellow sabbatical male officers. Not that i like to brag.) And unfortunately for the twin and myself we were born with broad shoulders so i look like Miss Trunchbull out of Matilda. Not sexy and not cool. And with it being Awards season i now cannot wear strappy dresses.

I tell you without surgery getting your idea of the perfect body needs commitment and lots of it. Not only commitment to get your bum to the gym or out for a run. But the commitment not to just go to Tesco and grab pastries and sweets. Instead you dont walk passed the fresh aisles and you run straight to the checkouts until you are tempted by anything else. Life being healthy isnt cheap. But then surgery is expensive.

So i am sucking it up. I am getting on this gym thing, i am eating clean and i will have a bikini body AND pass my army briefing. Day two into eating well and the gym, i see no improvements. However, i am a happier individual. (Although that could be the sun)

I am just thankful that i have a boyfriend who is fatter than me and my competitive streak likes me being fitter.

Just remember do not get thin, just get trim!

The Illusive Red Dress

The search for the perfect dress for an event is probably one of the most stressful events in a young girls life. It is something i know a lot of us girls have to deal with and never gets easier. You set your sights on a colour, a style a length. AND NOTHING.

I know that it is stressful because it has happened for prom, my leavers ball and then every year for the University Sports Awards. So why am i writing about it now? Well that is because not only have do i have to find one dress i have had to find three.THREE, that is a full time job ladies and gentlemen. I must admit that i am two thirds of the way there as i have had two successes in my endeavour but i must be honest they were just dresses i settled with. I hate settling for something less than perfect but time is running thin and to be honest the third dress is the one i care most for.

So i bought a Black and Gold Mesh dress from H&M it was a bargain at £7 so i cannot complain and goes with the Gold and Black theme of the Societies Awards.

Then i bought an Orange halterneck pleated dress from ASOS for £28 for the vOscars (Our Volunteer Awards) Again i cant say i am too happy about that choice in dress either.

But now i am left looking for the illusive perfect red dress. I am going all out for this dress for the one reason that the Sports Awards has been the event i have attended for the last three years and this year is my year. I have to make a lasting impression on the individuals and guests of that Awards Ceremony. It has to be red, as we at Essex are the Red and Black army. But can i find a red dress? No. Not one respectable, classy, perfect Red dress.

The horrible thing about this job is i cannot quit. Although i could have sickness leave... now thats an idea.

'One of those days'

Today really has been one of those days.

What is 'one of those days' you ask? Well for me it is those days where you start your day with a plan and life surprises you for better or for worse. Today i have been on a rollercoaster of life.

It started when yesterday in fact at 11pm as i got into bed and fell asleep. And started when i woke up at 12:30am and genuinely thought that it was 7am and i had to go the gym. It actually completely confused me and i didnt understand how i could have slept for so long yet not. Irregardless of this i went back to sleep. Got up at 7am and went to the gym.

So i will give you a short insight into the Work morning of OhSoZo. I get up at 7am i go for a run around the University fields or Wivenhoe trail then i go to the gym. I am currently trying to get army fit for an AOSB Briefing in June, which requires me to be able to do FULL press ups and sit ups. Now for most of you this may sound easy and those that know me may query why this bothers me. Well i have no upper body strength. NONE! Therefore i cannot push myself up, i cannot pull myself up and i most definitely cannot press up. So i am on a fitness plan to try and improve this fact. I must say i am impressed with the results my arms and the slight bingo wing which was forming have drastically toned. I now bench the same as a guy i know (30kg) and i have made friends with all the muscle men in the gym.

After my gym encounter i go back to my flat and make a smoothie and porridge, then shower and get ready for work with the news on in the background. (Another criteria of passing AOSB that i am up to date on current affairs.)

Yet this morning i went to make my smoothie and porridge as usual the smoothie was fine but my just add water porridge went horribly wrong. It was really watery and the porridge lined the microwave not the bowl. I just couldnt be bothered so i threw it all in the bin and ate flapjack! Bleeuurrrgghh..

A little thing you may quickly come to learn about me is that i am very loyal and i love to argue. However, i never argue in a bitchy fashion i construct my arguments well. I compliment then crush. Its softening the blow i think. I am always willing to help others and share my wisdom. So today that is what i did on two occasions to two different people. One i shared my wisdom too and helped them construct a reply to a comment. To which an apology was received. The other was a direct argument with an individual, i cannot tell you the success rate of this argument yet though as it is a work in progress. I will keep you updated.

After having spent my day helping said individuals (my argument to individual two was an argument for a change in lifestyle) i now find myself being ignored. Having to fight for conversations. Conversations that will not come. It is a simple fact of life putting time into things is sometimes just a waste.

And now the worst thing that could possibly happen to me right now happened.. I found the perfect red dress for the Sports Awards. It was red, classy and perfect. I was about to buy for a bargain price of £35 and then i looked at the back of the dress... Pure TACK! It is amazing how things like this really do change your mood. And there we are, another rollercoaster!

The perfect..ly ruined dress

It is safe to say this will not be the last 'one of those days' but i am glad this one is over.

This is just the beginning...

This is all completely new to me and i have to say that it is not as easy as i first thought. When you do not have a blog everything is there in your mind ready to be written down.. Now i have writers block, it took me 18 minutes to come up with my Blog title. How do i know that it took me 18 minutes? Well that is easy The Only Way is Essex started as i began to ponder what would headline my blog.

I would like to be able to say that i am philosophical and i can string inspirational quotes together. But that would be a lie, i chose 'quote' because of its irony and to be quite frank irony seems to be the theme of my life. The irony of this quote for those who may be reading this and do not know me is the fact that i was not born an original, i am an identical twin. When your mum dresses you in the same clothes and people cannot tell you apart even when you are 21 and have different hair colour; You are not an original.

The ironical thing is the Twin and I could not be any different. (I will refer to her as my twin only, as i am not in this to name drop and call other people out.) The Twin is on course for a very comfortable first in her Management and Accounting degree i chose Politics and settled for a 2:2. The Twin has been taken on to a competitive graduate programme at Ernst & Young and i am looking to join the British Army (As an Officer mind). I spent my Uni life drunk, working in a bar and playing sport whilst the Twin actually undertook University for what it is, an educational centre. We are different. We have grown out of our shared identity.

I never understood those people who aspire to be like other people. Who want to be celebrities, known one day forgotton the next. I like the limelight do not get me wrong. I certainly can hold my own on a public stage, however the limelight i like to hold is usually to shout down someone else and voice my opinion. I do that to make sure i am not a clone falling in line like i should. Perhaps that is why i am not made for politics? That is a question i could expand on for many hours and bore you all with.

 So to summarise what this Blog will be, well that is pretty easy. It will be an outlet. A place where i can let go on how i feel about things that have happened in my life. Trust me, my life is not as easy as most 21 year olds. I can only presume the quality in writing will increase as i get used to this. I have never written a proper diary.

Alas, the Lax Man (The boyfriend) just called to say Good Night. And i have to be up and ready to go at 7am for run and then gym. So until tomorrow i bid farewell.

-Z